Monday, October 21, 2013

Different is Beautiful

Sometimes, I feel that I'm left behind. For whatever reason, for the way I am or how I can't seem to get close to anyone. I have a hard time opening up to People. I don't have a problem in bitching or complaining, but I do have a problem with being completely raw with someone. I can do it threw my writing. I might be a little down today because I got stood up, and I'm putting what little energies I have into that feeling. I got stood up by a guy I never knew. It saddens me because right away he never gave me a chance, and I don't understand a thing, I thought of our last conversation and I felt like it went well, he called me beautiful and sweetheart. He always contacted me first and we had great conversations.

sigh

I still had a fun night and I in the wrong run  need to just think on that. Maybe it's just because my ex just vanished from my life and I have those Daddy issues because he too also left never to return. Accept for a Facebook message 34 years later, Even the Ex will eventually email or text me back because  it's a game we have been playing for the past year. I'm over it though, and I know that I deserve better then the crazy Dramatic life that seems to plague me, because of the choices that I have made. I do only have myself to blame. So now what? What do I do? I will keep going I guess because that's all I can, realize and understand that not everyone is going to leave me and I have to put my faith in people. I also need to stop sabotaging myself and putting myself in dramatic situations or reliving the past. It's really time to move forward, and sitting in my bed watching Netflicks is not helping, Canceling plans with friends is not doing anything, letting things past me by is not doing anything for me.

One step at a time lets Do this!!

Monday Motivation
Hugs and Kisses
Heather

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