Monday, September 30, 2013

My Job and How It sucks the life out of me

Sometimes you get stuck, stuck in a place that you never wanted to be in. You think "How the Hell did I get here?"

I work in a bar that has passed it's prime in life, the locals keep coming, because it's in walking distance and they dwell on the old memories of when the place was newer and shined. Bursting with People and the drugs and drinks ran freely. Now a lot of these People are just husk of what they use to be, like the bar I work in a shell of old memories.

I'm good at what I do, 22 years of serving and bar-tending this will happen. I hate the owner of the bar. Strong statement, because you should never hate anyone. I hate him.

I'm never going to be good enough, the owner ( we will call him Mr. Dbag) won't even acknowledge my presence.

Mr.Dbag's list of what he's done

-Called me stupid
-Threatened to choke me
- blames me for everything that goes wrong ( he does this with everyone)
- Called me a bitch
- said I was a bully
- blamed me for a server walking out ( I wasn't even working or there) the girl messaged me and said I was super sweet to her and she thanked me for being nice
- written me up for stupid things ( left a a spoon in a dressing just for example)
- accused me of not doing anything because I stopped scrubbing the walls to say Hi to a customer.


I could keep going, and I'm going to be honest and say I have my lazy days at work and I have gotten in trouble for things that I did do wrong and I can accept that. Now Now I'm just tired of it all. I watch as my coworkers suck up to him. Even one of them flirts and it makes me gag. I worked extra shifts I have the biggest sales, I'm always picking up the slack and still I get the crappy shifts and blamed for it all.

Why am I still there? Why ? because that's what I"m use to. I hate that statement , This is why I'm taking the time to work on me, and figure out why? why I have such a need to put myself in shitty situations. Why I put up with it. When a drunk asshole is being touchy I put him in his place, when a person is using me I tell them off and walk away from them. Yet when it comes to my Job I keep putting up with stuff!

I think I have to take a step and maybe put applications out and least try to get out of there, Sometimes before I go to work I just cry and mentally prepare myself to be bullied .....

IT's sad and it makes me angry... I'm just tired, and it sucks the life out of me...but I will keep going and plaster a smile on my face

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