Friday, September 6, 2013

Currently,Loves, and it's Fine....

                                                      ( not sure who did this, but beautiful)

THINGS I'M LOVING: Lavender Iced CoffeeA Love Note...,33 abandon places,

  1. Every man dies, but not every man truly lives. — William Wallace
                                                           This Quote

Reading: right now my night stand is filled with 3 different books, I can't seem to choose which one I really want to read, I even have books on my Kindle that I'm going through lol

Eating: I've been on this avocado kick lately, with tomatoes and onions drizzles with Balsamic dressing, Yummy

Listening to: The Merkin Jerk by Javelin, some chillwave  glo-fi music great beat and intresting

Thinking about: Lately I came to the conclusion that no matter what I do at my job, it's never going to be good enough.I am never going to be told I do a good job,A simple thank you, or anything. I will be judged for things I have not done or things I didn't do right, I can keep pushing forward,do things on my own, and I will be told I never go above and beyond. I will pick up 4 extra shifts because people wont come to work, I will take extra tables because other servers would rather talk then work. doesn't matter.

Watching: I got into Ugly Betty and just finished watching the First season, I love it so funny

Loving: That fall is almost here!! it's my favorite season and I love all the colors and the food and smells♥♥

What I want to talk about:

Something I realize lately , I'm always saying "it's fine" "it's Okay" I really need to stop doing that, because most the time it's not fine, I always think it could be worse so it's fine. Really though it's not fine, I always dismiss things by saying it's Fine. I think it's me choosing to look at the positive, but really i'm not. I'm avoiding the truth of how I feel. I really need to stop saying that. I need to switch it up and make it fine. But that means I have to stand outside my comfort zone, and step into the unknown and get people upset, The most important thing is being true to myself and not worrying about hurting others, because i just end up hurting me. FEAR is a huge thing, always afraid of what others will think. I need to force myself to take action and just deal with it!. I have to make a change or I'm going to keep spiraling down. I know it's not fine, You know it's not fine... I have let so many people get away with things, then I get angry at something else because I didn't let go of the things that were weighing me down "those fine" moments hold me back...and it's because of the fear that I have so it's time to make some changes in my life and stop letting people walk on me  

Hugs and Kisses XOXO

No comments: