Monday, January 31, 2011

my head will be better tomorrow...

I've been dealing with a couple of crappy days, here In Heather's land....I've been so angry I just want to Scream my head off , like a raving lunatic.Now I have the worst pain in my jaw,because I've been holding that feeling in!!! I wish I could be a kid again and just throw a tantrum screaming and kicking! Gosh that would be great!

I've been sorta holding my own with wonderful friends, John the guy in the pic with me has been a really calm Cat for me.Plus others! I will get threw this, I just need to completely understand why this is happening to me? What am I ignoring in my life or something I'm feeling and not dealing with♥♥

I'm going to promise that My blogging will get better again, Trust me I actually can write..lol I really can really, I just sorta lost it...not sure how that happen but it has....So to those who remember how I use to write I'm trying to bring it back, those who are new to my blog I swear I can do better...Goodnight!♥

Friday, January 28, 2011

February Here I come♥


February is only a couple of days away!! I am so ready for it..ready to have some new goals for the month and ready to see how my life is going to go!

I had amazing dinner party at my house which,turned out really good with some amazing friends on Monday. I made my famous sizzling garlic chicken legs and some kinda potato onion thing..lol that I sorta just threw together...

This week has been tough on me, tough to the point that I was knocked down a couple notches and realized that I'm not as great as I think I am! I became a statistic lumped into a group that I never wanted to be lumped into..... I have Daddy issues !!!! Always have and these issues smacked me right in the face this week! I was way to shock and then when I accepted it, I looked closer at every relationship I had and GASP!!!! this explained so much! Not that I'm happy about this, I am a fighter I have beaten Cancer for christ sake I'm not going to let a stranger that I don't know give me issues! ha ha... but in all seriousness, this is something that I'm going to have to shake, going to have to stand on my own two feet and figure out how to overcome. Just right now I'm not sure how I'm going to do this. People walked away from you or I walked from them..always a game to see who would do it first... I think I took the first though and admitted to myself of my issue ♥♥



Here's Ceeno he's getting so big, and soooooo bad! but he's the cutest thing ever and that makes up for everything that he's done! ♥



I Love this!!! this is so beautiful!!!



Another beautiful saying and so true!!♥♥

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Sweet home sweet home!♥

Going home today after work! Which I'm so psyched about, I'm a hot mess, and I almost feel bad for going to work looking the way I do. Didn't know I was staying at my mom's for this long. Not complaining, Just soooo ready to go, my uncool corkscrew curls are giving me a mental patient look, I'm usually putting so much product in my hair to have it stick straight that lasts for 2 days! those two day's are up buddy...

I miss my Kitties ! I miss my girls!! I can't wait to see all of them. Dreading the stinky cat litter box..wish they knew how to clean up the box themselves!

Blogs I'm reading

All of these blogs are wonderful in their own way. I love strong,Sweet women, that make something of themselves....

Books I'm reading : Eat,Pray,Love - being at my mom's I have it really been reading as much as I should have..because Of the internet, Oh internet you are such a joy but a curse as well♥

Well off to work I go♥

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Red wine and trying to get my agenda organized

I completely ♥♥ this photo!!! things that we need to all keep in our minds. To truly be wonderful human beings! It's Tuesday and I'm sick of this wet slushy,cold,frozen ice and snow... Winter does not bother me but..but I've had enough of this snow! Been staying with the mama mama, due to not being able to drive myself to work.

I'm truly trying to get my agenda organized, my day is filled with so much stuff, I'm someone that has to put "make bed" or I won't do it!!! I'm not computer savvy to make something creative,I try to research this on the internet but there's really nothing at all about it, I can't be the only one in this world that has a problem with this! So any Idea's would be Wonderful, thank you!♥

Have a great day!

As they say this too shall pass...


Funny how old people have so much wisdom in there feeble little minds, so many of us don't even listen to them anymore espically when we see that their mind is going

As they Say this too shall pass...

My grandmother yesterday kept saying this in every little conversation we all had. I saw my mother just smiling at her as if she was a little girl...I started really thinking about this Quote seriously thinking about it...What a easy simple little saying, my Grandmother just shrugged her bony shoulders and really had no strong emotion in anything, well that's not all completely true she had complete feeling of bliss and happiness!!!♥♥ So today I should just live with that saying in my mind, I should just feel it right down to the little cells in my body. Maybe I could relax more and not worry that something or someone is out to get me? Is it funny, or well in case I know that people are situations are not out to destroy me, but my mind has other ideas !

The book I'm reading: Eat, Pray, Love, excellent book I would recommend it for everyone!

Well folks off to work I am have a wonderful,beautiful day!!

Friday, January 14, 2011

hard week ....

I'm surrounded by death, every where I turn someone has passed away.. No One truly close to me,I just see this horriable pain in my friends eyes! I feel so much sorrow on social networks that I'm on.

Sometimes I feel I'm so alone when things like this happen, I give comfort to my friends, and I say the words that everyone tells them...over and Over I hear the same thing being said. Nothing is going to bring these people back..they are not dead You can't hide and lock yourself in a room! Remember who these wonderful people were...and smile because they were in your life! Strange what sort of People come out when someone dies..People I never knew the deceased knew??? Why is this??

I spent my days this week crying, not sure if it's my time of the month or I have a lot of forgiving to do with myself..but I just bawl♥ If you knew me you would know that I don't cry, not because I don't find anything wrong with it I just don't! I have this understanding of things in life...

I was never one to cry in front of people and even now it's hard for me too..I would rather smile or crack a joke... I'm rambling♥

These are just my thoughts hope everyone's week went well

Friday, January 7, 2011

Goals and letting all this go...


Funny thing after 3 months or so of working on me, I can see one thing ( or well one person) and it all comes crashing down on me.. Ever been in that place where you run into someone that your not ready to run into and your guy feels like it's being ripped out and your heart is beating so fast?
Yeah that was me about 1 hour ago!!! Does this mean that all my hard work did not pay off?? I don't think so, it shows that I do have some forgiving to do and I'm not yet heal of the pain that this person has caused in my life.... Thing is folks I get so frustrated because I don't want to feel this way at all, This person made a choice and he has to live with it..so why do I have to feel and deal with? That's just It I don't..I have the power in me to control my feelings and thoughts and let this whole thing go.... blogging about it is really helping to♥♥
January Goals

1.read 5 books ( I already have 2 down)
2.Make bedroom completely spotless
3.Clean up friends list
4.work on daily todo lists

really excited about these goals!! Wed. was my birthday and it was great spending it with my family♥ Today I'm spending it with my friends and next week their should be photo's
Have a wonderful weekend and remember be proud who you are ♥