Friday, January 29, 2010

The evilness of bipolar


It's still January, that means to me that it's still my birthday. I know my birthday was Jan.5th but in my head I think your bday is for the whole month. I'm sucking the drinks out of anyone I can.

I know it's bad of me to do this.......

I meet lots of peeps this way, People find out it's your birthday and they all of sudden become a part of your group to join the party.

I guess everyone uses everyone......

The Evilness of bipolar- I'm not downing anyone with bipolar I don't fully understand it and I'm not going to pretend that I do. But I feel like it's rubbing off on me. I feel like I some how got this condition .

Some of my friends have bipolar most of them are medicated for it and I don't really see them acting strangely or their moods going up and down. Yet I have a few that refuse to be treated for it or their meds are not the right ones for them but they refuse to tell the docs what's going on.

So some day's I'm going threw a emotional Roller coaster ride with my friends where it leaves me in tears and so frustrated I want to slice my wrists. This is not a joke, and I don't know what to do.Should I just walk away from them, but is it there fault that they have bipolar? I understand that they can't control their emotions but I can't disrespect myself anymore and deal with this hateful , anger that they bring to me. anymore

enough is enough

Then I feel guilty for having these thoughts... sigh what should I do

4 comments:

nothingprofound said...

They need to take their meds, for their sake and everyone else's. There's no reason why you should willingly expose yourself to anger and abuse. By the way that's a really nice picture of you.

Heather said...

Nothingprofound,

I agree they do need to take their meds, I can't sit and take it anymore as they mentally abuse me bc they are in the "low" part of the bipolar. They tell me I should understand but for me to respect myself I cant let them do this.

and thank you

Nitin said...

you are over working your gentle mind for no fucking worth while reason. i had a friend who was bipolar. and the bastard did'nt want help. i tried helping him out. then i thought i just watch him burn. maybe thats my problem. im uni-fucking-polar and evil. and i love it. but the fact is when the shit starts messing with your fucking head . you get off the road. sit on the sidelines and re prioritize . i don't need to understand shit. i need to be selfish. i like the thought. i don't need to give a fuck that he is bipolar or not. and i didn't. so i think you better stop taking shit. no matter if they are bipolar- tripolar-polar bears. cause its fucking driving you nuts and is making you want to kill yourself.(which is something i think a lot about too, but for other reasons). if someone is dissing me. i don't take shit. i would mix and over dose of cocaine and make sure they OD'd over it. cause i dont give a fuck. and i suggest you do the same.

Heather said...

nitin,
You are right I care to much when I shouldn't lol can I keep you in my pocket so you can scream at me when I make mistakes?