Friday, October 16, 2009
converstation with myself while I bathe
I came home from work and slowly walked to the computer 34 messages on facebook and a bunch of shit on my email account. Nothing from The love of my life. I need to be a little bit more Joyous about the people that are in my life, and not the one's that are scared and too week to handle me as a person.
84 pounds of fear right here baby...
I soaked in a long hot oatmeal bath and wished that I would just drown in the mess. My body would be found bloated and flies would lay there eggs in my ear and belly button.
Don't worry folks I would never do it I'm a walking contradiction , hating and loving life all at once.
Where ever I go my nose runs for the first two hours and then I find that it stops and then I go to the next place same damn thing.
There's a pic of me sitting in the tub I look like I'm going to suck your soul out
I'm trying to work on not being so needy, Just like the selfishness of the love of my life I too have faults, I just want to work on them together lol and he does it, Though it's faults that we have when we are together. Thats funny to me I need to speak to him to help my faults, and he needs to get to a point where he does it have to pop pills in his mouth to talk to me.... yup the love of my life loves to pop oxy... picked up the habit again after being clean for a year, picked it up due to me, started the habit due to me...... sigh