Saturday, May 16, 2009

reflecting....

Friday May 15, 2009,

I slept to about 1:15 pm today, the sun was screaming threw my blinds. I cursed as I tried to hide under my covers. But then it was way to hot. I was it even tired, though I knew today was a day that I was going to be depressed. Could be that I'm PMSing or it could be that my life is just a little frustrating right now. Being poor , Jobless, and having friends and a Lover that don't respect you, has a lot to do with it.

Okay I know that it's me though, I know that my outlook on life has to change, Because no one deserves to be treated like I do. I want to day to speak to my Friend who has the same out look on life as me. Though I forget it and he always keeps with him. The Kingpin was with him And we Played some Pool and darts , while we waited for our Friend to come back.

The funny thing is , is that about ten minutes before I got a hold of my friend to see if we could talk. I called the king Pin, and no answers , then ten min later my friend said they were together at the bar drinking and playing pool.....LOL funny.

So the talk with my friend went really well, He told me that I needed to have a conversations with KingPIn and my other friends... Not to attack them but just have a one and one conversation with them, and Peacefully let them know how they made me feel. He also stated that sometimes people just test the limits of other people, just to see how much they can get by
Which really that makes sense!!

So I told the KingPin that when He gets back from his little trip this weekend with my friend. Him and I have to have a conversation .He looked nervous and asked me if it was a life change for him, I said no not really. I know he was thinking I might be pregnant ... but yea no ....

My whole problem that I find that I have is that People open up to me very quickly ....... People tell me all the time there dirty secrets and things like that, they spend all this time wanting to hang with me.... and then when I see them somewhere else it's like they don't know me.... I'm sick of it..... I deserve to get a hello, I feel like a fool I see them out and I go up to say hello and they treat me like I have a sickness... sigh I wish people could just stay the same always

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